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Parenting on your own after a divorce in California

On Behalf of | Dec 1, 2022 | Divorce |

California parents facing divorce may wonder how they will parent their children independently. They may also have trouble relinquishing control if they take care of most parenting duties during the marriage.

Your parenting styles will differ

Since you are two separate individuals raised in diverse ways, your parenting styles may not be the same, and it might even be one of the reasons you wanted to divorce. It is important to remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to parent differently from your ex. You have control when your kids are with you and vice versa for your ex; however, it is essential to clarify the rules. Please do not attempt to tell your ex how to treat the children when they are with them; instead, focus on your time with them.

Never put your children in the middle

Do not speak about matters involving your ex with your children. They should never be in a situation where they must choose one parent over the other. If your child hears that your ex may be engaging in this behavior, resist the urge to argue or defend yourself. Saying something like “It’s too bad they feel that way” is easy to handle.

Do not let the children pit you against each other

It is pretty standard for children to use their parents against each other to get what they want after they have separated. This behavior is easily identified when your child tells you their other parent lets them do something that you won’t. For example, your child may say their other parent allows them to stay up later to get you to do the same. Set the rules and clarify that what happens at your ex’s is their rules, even if your child is making it up.

Parenting on your own can be difficult after a divorce. However, remaining strong, setting boundaries and enforcing the rules can help you and your children.